Fuck You, Bitch!

One of the most amusing things that could ever happen at my high school was a rousing round of skank versus skank. For anyone who didn't go to a skank high school, this is when two skanks get into what they call a "fight" at school. Usually in the hallway between classes, and sometimes in the cafeteria.

These "fights" are hardly even fights. It's rare to even see someone walk away with a physical injury. What happens is something like this:

Skank one: Bitch!

Skank two: What, bitch?

Skank one: (insert accusation having to do with drugs, beer, or sexual partners and on rare occasions friends/family members being badmouthed by skank two).

Skank two: I don't know what you're talkin' about whore!

By this time, skanks one and two have wasted their time throwing curses and gramatically incorrect insults that several teachers have intervened and are now pulled them away from each other.

Skank one: Fuck you, whore!

Skank two: Bitchsticks!

Yeah, you read that right. Bitch. Sticks. Someone at my school actually said that. I heard it. With my own ears. And then I laughed.

Anyways, the fight is easily resolved because skanks one and two have accepted their defeat by the school faculty members who would never in a million years hope to be in shape enough to actually stop a real fight. Skanks one and two now walk to the front office and await their punishment in silence.

I just can't help but laugh at these fights. I mean, why get yourself so worked up if you're not even going to hit someone? And really, bitchsticks?

Once, just once, I would like to see two skanks really battle it out in the hall with real fighting and properly phrased insults. Maybe the intelligence level just isn't high enough in your average skank for this sort of fight. Maybe it's just my crazy school.

Who knows, but it'd make my day to see two people give it some thought before jumping into a failure of a fight in the hallway at school.