D'awww

So, basically, I'm a romantic fool.

Yeah, yeah, I know that's extraordinarily girly of me but I'm a girl and I reserve the right to be at least a little bit girly from time to time. ;)

Someone posted on their YWS blog this incredibly adorable story about their brother and his wife-to-be. One of those, they were best friends and inseperable but never dated back then but later in life they realized their love for eachother kind of things. Yeah.

I adore those sorts of things. Love stories, big romantic gestures, they make me all happy and fuzzy inside. But, strangely enough, I don't go for uber-romantic guys. I think it's sweeter when a not-really-romantic person does something unexpectedly-romantic.

Alright, this blog is becoming immensely full of my teenager girliness. I apologize, but I can't seem to help it. I have a crush, it tends to do that to me. Even if he did make me get really bad poison ivy.

-Lauren-

P.S. I promise I'll get back to more interesting blogging soon.

I'm In Love With This Feeling

Song of the moment: Sweet Disposition by Temper Trap

I can't quite explain it, but I feel really good right now. Really really good.

There's something about the kids in my bit of the world that I'm in love with. I don't mean kids, really, I mean the people I associate myself with around here. They're all fantastic, crazy people that I love to death. I know I'm not going to find these kinds of people anywhere else, and if I do they couldn't possibly mean the same to me. I'm leaving them all in a months time, but that's okay. These people are home, and they make home feel good.

There's something about my taste in music that wows me every time I put my ipod on shuffle. And there's just something about the effect really fanastic music has on me... From rock to classical to pop, there are just those songs that really make you feel. Being a writer, those feelings translate into stories and those stories are my heart. My heart beats the life of a thousand untold stories, and the thoughts and emotions of a thousand unborn characters. Maybe no one else will really understand this, but that feeling... It's more than words can describe.

There's something about this feeling of grown-upishness and independence. University is right around the corner, and that terrifies and fills me with this insane feeling of greatness all at the same time. I know I want to be a writer, a literary agent, a publisher. I know it's not the same as teaching less fortunate kids, being a missionary in a dirt-poor country, or saving lives as a doctor but I really feel like I'm going to make a difference in my life. Writing distributes ideas and emotions; that can really influence a lot of things. And I have to say, I'm in love with it. Head over heels.

There's something about a crush that can really make you feel great. Maybe there are a lot of issues that come with this puppy love, but there are issues with anything. There's a time to worry over problems and a time to accept that certain things are out of your control and to just let those things not matter so much anymore. When you have a crush, the littlest things make a bigger difference than the issues. Oh, he looked at me, he's talking to me, he texted me. I'm spending time with this person who seems to be something really special to me right now, and that sort of feeling is really beautiful. I wish I could treat everyone I know with that same sort of attention. When just talking to someone, being close to someone, holding hands, when those little things really matter it's just awesome. And I really liked holding his hand and falling asleep on his shoulder last night. Sure, this is coming at the most inopportune time in our lives, but certain things are out of our control right? The heart wants what the heart wants.

There's something... There's something about my dear sisters. No, I don't have any biological sisters but I got lucky in my life. I have four amazing women I call sisters. To you four beautiful ladies, you have made me the person I am and you continue to shape my life. I would be nowhere without any of you. I only hope I have affected your lives in the way you have affected mine.

There's just something about this feeling of good that I have tonight. So many times do I focus on what's wrong and how I've failed or been let down. When I think about those things, I sink quickly. I'm not sure if I struggle with depression or if I just fixate a bit too much on things but when I get down I get really down. When I feel good like this, it's an amazing feeling. I never want to take this feeling for granted. This love for my life, for my friends, my family, for silly crushes that make you feel pretty inside.

I never want it to end.

-Lauren-

P.S. Excuse the excessive use of adjectives relating to beauty, happiness, and love. Like I said, I feel really really good tonight.

I Promise I Haven't Forgotten!

I'm on vacations a lot about this time of the summer! I'm on my last one for a while, so I'll be back around soon. I'm also going to probably put my blog out there more (advertising on YWS perhaps?).

I've also been toying with creating a different blog for more writing focused things, and one for life focused things. But then, that doesn't make much sense to me. Most of my writing coincides with my life. And I don't write more about life than writing.

We'll just stick with this one for now. :)

I'll be back around soon!

-Lauren-